


you don't have to say i love you to say i love you

by quinnfabs



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, M/M, Not Blaine Friendly, Road Trips, Season 5 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5611873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnfabs/pseuds/quinnfabs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>not-quite-enemies to friends to roommates to more, the different ways that Kurt and Sebastian say they love each other</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 3. oh no, it's on me // 86. you're important too

**Author's Note:**

> based on [this](http://quinnfabswrites.tumblr.com/post/136450719330/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you) list
> 
> title from Troye Sivan's "for him." (which you should definitely listen to)
> 
> also timeline is kind of...arbitrary I tried to figure it out based on canon but canon is a mess that I wasn't particularly feeling working through. just, let it happen.

When you first become friends with you sworn nemesis, you kind of expect the world to implode a little, or at least, that’s what Kurt believed.

In reality, it was shockingly, not that big of a deal. Nobody yelled at him for betraying the New Directions. No one called him a traitor. And what was most surprising; _absolutely no one_ broke out into song.

It was quite anti-climactic as far as reconciliations go. It wasn’t even much of reconciliation, really.

They run into each other at Kurt’s favorite coffee shop. In hind sight, Kurt’s not surprised it’s a coffee shop, because of course it was. And _of course_ Sebastian was the person standing in front of him, ordering the most complicated drink on the menu all while Kurt was impatiently trying to get his hands on a cup of coffee.

Kurt held in his annoyance, bit his tongue because it was far too early in the morning to get into a fight. 

It was that moment Sebastian turned around, noticed Kurt and _smiled._ Kurt was at least 90 percent sure he was dreaming (a nightmare, he's positive). 

“Fancy seeing you here, Hummel.” Sebastian says, the warm smile still on his face. Kurt only nods in response, hoping that Sebastian would take the hint and leave him alone.

Except it’s _Sebastian,_ so of course he opts instead to continue pestering him. “Kurt? That is you right? I’d be able to recognize those clothes _anywhere.”_

Kurt shoves Sebastian out of the way so that he can order, and Sebastian moves, just barely, with a small smirk on his face. He murmurs, “So that’s how you’re going to play it, huh? Cold shoulder?”

Kurt resolutely does not look at Sebastian, not even a little bit. Instead he just tells the barista his order with a smile, and pulls out his wallet to pay, only Sebastian’s hand stops him. “Hey, no. It’s on me." 

This time Kurt raises his eyebrow at Sebastian.

“My good deed of the day. Plus I figure maybe it’ll get you to break this ice queen routine of yours.” He replies, grinning brightly. Kurt's not sure if he's mocking him or not, so finally, he decides to respond. He's intrigued and a little skeptical when he asks, "Whats your angle, Smythe?"

“No angle, just paying for an old friend’s coffee, trying to get a little conversation out of it, maybe.” He sounds genuine, which throws Kurt off. Maybe Sebastian’s a better actor than he gave him credit for.

But then again, Kurt thinks, it's been a long time since high school. Maybe he just grew up.

So Kurt just says, “If you’re paying for coffee, you can have all the conversation you want, Smythe.”

When they sit down, not to Kurt’s surprise at all, the first thing Sebastian says is “So I haven’t seen you since you very publicly, and very hilariously said no to the puppet prince’s proposal.”

Kurt very nearly laughs at Sebastian’s alliteration, but stops himself.  He wants to be surprised that they’re sitting down to talk about _Blaine_ but really, when has it ever been about anyone else between the two of them?

“Yeah, it’s been what, two years? What have you been up to in New York?” Kurt asks, hoping that Sebastian allows the topic change.

“Prelaw at NYU. And don’t try and change the subject, c’mon, tell me _why._ It was quite the scandal back in the day.”

Kurt’s not surprised that Sebastian didn’t let it go, but he’s equally stubborn so he grins, “Prelaw, I'm not surprised. That’s _very_ you. Usually the polite thing to do would be ask what _I_ was doing, so I guess nothing’s really changed with you.”

“Hold up, what do you mean nothing’s changed? I paid for coffee, that’s definitely a very polite thing to do. Also, I already know what you’re doing, Hummel. You intern at Vogue, study at NYADA and occasionally work at the Spotlight Diner. And there was something about you being in a band? We _are_ Facebook friends after all.” Sebastian rolls his eyes, and continues, “And before you call me a creep, tell me that you didn’t add me all those years ago only to stalk me and make sure I wasn’t hanging out with the hobbit.”

“Okay fine, maybe I did. But I don’t look at your page _now.”_ Kurt says, taken aback.

Sebastian rolls his eyes, “Please it’s not like I stare at your page for hours or anything. Just crap that comes up on my news feed, and you post _a lot_. Please tell me that we’re not going to spend this entire time talking about my Facebook habits.”

“Fine. So was the only reason you sat me down to talk about Blaine, then?” Kurt asks, only because he’s trying to decide whether he should leave or not.

“Obviously not, Kurt. I just wanted to catch up. But you can’t be surprised that I want to know what happened. One minute you and him were staring at each other lovingly and the next he’s coming to Dalton wide eyed asking us to help him with a proposal. Though, now I'm realizing he may have left out the part where you guys were broken up.” Sebastian murmurs, earnest.

Kurt scoffs, “Yeah. And I’m sure he didn’t tell you that I was seeing someone else.”

“Hold up, you were dating someone else?” Sebastian says, putting down his coffee, interest clearly completely peaked.

“I’m surprised you don’t already know from Facebook.” Kurt jokes, then continues, “Yeah. We were together up until last year, actually. He had to move back to Essex, though.” Kurt’s not hurt about it anymore, it’s been a while and Adam is _still_ one of his closest friends, probably always will be. But remembering the time he was excited about their new relationship only to see that Blaine still hadn’t let go, did seem to tug at old wounds.

“Oooh, an Englishman, very fancy.” Sebastian replies, attempting an accent. Kurt shoots him a look, then goes on, “Anyway, it was infuriating, the way Blaine just kept ignoring everything I said and _told_ me that we were soulmates. Soulmates don’t cheat on you! Soulmates don’t make you feel like garbage for _doing well_ when you’re living on your own for the first time in your life. And soulmates _definitely don’t_ put together a huge proposal solely designed to emotionally manipulate you into getting back together with them. So, I just told him that. I could have waited to do it in private, but he didn’t provide me with the same luxury so why should I have?” Kurt rants, as if the emotions are raw and fresh. As if the proposal had just happened yesterday.

Sebastian looks surprised, pauses for a moment, then earnestly states, “Yeah that…makes sense. I’m glad you didn’t say yes, then, because you're important too.”

Kurt’s trying to get himself together, it’s been a long time since he’s talked about that, it’s been a long time since the person’s first reaction was to tell him he was _right._ He’s trying to think of anyone from Lima who said those words to him, but he’s coming up short. The fact that the first thing out of Sebastian's mouth, a guy that supposedly hated him,was that he was right is...shocking, to say the least. With his emotions running wild, and with how completely vulnerable he's feeling right now, Kurt kind of thinks that running away is completely the right choice so he mutters, “Yeah well, my coffee’s been finished forever, so I should probably head out now.”

“Hey no. You don’t have to get all weird. Look, I’m almost done with mine too. We can just go do something else, maybe hit up a movie or something? Unless you’re busy, of course.”

Sebastian sounds so genuine, that all Kurt can say is, “Sounds good" and hope that it was the right choice.  


	2. 11. you can have half // 9. i saved a piece for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another update i'm on a roll!! i have time and more writing inspiration but i don't know if it'll last long so I'll just keep updating as long as my motivation lets me. hope you enjoy and as always i appreciate all of your comments and kudos.

Strangely enough, or maybe not so strangely, the progression of their friendship can be tracked by cake.

Kurt has always taken his cheesecake _very_ seriously. And not just cheesecake, desert in general. Each kind, delicious and extravagant and special. Kurt’s love for sweets is unparalleled and anyone who knows him at all, knows at least that. Which also means that everyone knows when it comes to _sharing_ , Kurt’s firmly against it.

When he brings home cheesecake after a long day at Vogue, by now, both Rachel and Santana know better than to even look at it. Kurt’s prickly about a lot of things; his personal space, his belongings and his secrets. But more than anything else, it’s cake.

Rachel’s never been too big on cake, being a vegan and all, she only likes the vegan cupcakes from her favorite bakery, so she’s never really felt the urge to take any of Kurt’s sweets. Which worked out well for their friendship. Unfortunately for Santana, she figured it out the hard way. She spotted the cake in the fridge and she’s a firm believer in “what’s yours is mine” so yeah, she takes a slice of it for herself while Kurt’s in the shower. After all, its just one slice, he probably won’t even notice, right?

Wrong. Completely wrong.

The thing about Kurt, that Santana would soon learn, is that when he’s _really_ angry about something, he doesn’t yell or put up a fight, he goes completely quiet, and _plots_.

It’s only after Santana lost a solo in the band (that would have been perfectly suited to her voice), the phone number of the cute girl Kurt set her up with weeks ago mysteriously disappeared from her phone, her bedsheets feeling strangely itchy, she’s learned her lesson.

“You’re insane, Hummel, you know that?” She grumbles after she’s had enough of his strange revenge methods.

“As long as you know better now.” He had said, completely calm.

So really, rule number one of being friends with Kurt is don’t touch his cake. Which is not a difficult rule to follow, not in the grand scheme of things.  

Only, Sebastian hasn’t been a part of Kurt’s friend circle for very long, so he’s doesn’t know better, when he opens up the fridge and pulls out the last piece of cake, while Kurt’s getting dressed. They’re going out tonight, to Sebastian’s favorite club, but he’s a little hungry and didn’t really get the chance to grab anything to eat before he came over. Which was probably a mistake, but Kurt did say to make himself at home, and well, that obviously means Kurt’s okay with him eating what’s in the fridge right?

Wrong. Completely, irrevocably wrong. Luckily for Sebastian, Kurt came out of his room before Sebastian could eat anything off the plate, his eyes narrowed, “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

Sebastian hasn’t seen Kurt look like that since the first time they met, and Kurt looked like he wanted to skin him alive, and not in a sexy way. “I’m…eating?” Sebastian replies, suddenly unsure of himself.

“Like hell you are. That’s my cake, Seb. Put it down.” Kurt says, words sharp, as he walks over to Sebastian, slowly.

“…is it special or something?” Sebastian replies, confused. “Nobody cares this much about cake, right?”

Kurt’s smiling, when he brightly states, “All cakes are special.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes, but puts the cake back in the fridge. “Remind me why you’re _this_ dramatic?”

“We all have our things, Sebastian. Mine is cake.” Kurt says. “Are we leaving or what?”

“Yes, of course your highness. You look acceptable enough, I guess.”

“Shut up. You know I look amazing.”  

***

Kurt’s sitting at this little bakery by NYU, where Sebastian’s finishing up his last class of the day. They’re supposed to grab dinner but Kurt couldn’t help himself when he saw the doors to a small cupcake shop, and told Sebastian to meet him there when he was done.

He didn’t go overboard, just ordered a red velvet ice cream cupcake because it’s been getting warmer and he wants to enjoy it. He’s only gotten a few bites in when Sebastian walks in, a little sweaty from the heat. “So is this your fifth cupcake, or?” he says, smiling at Kurt once he sits down.

“No! I’ve only had this one.” Kurt says, sheepish. He knows better than to eat too many sweets before dinner. He’s just letting himself indulge, a little.

Sebastian’s staring at the line-up, and Kurt knows he’s internally debating whether or not it’s worth it to grab some cake for himself, so Kurt says, “Here. You can have half.” To Kurt’s own surprise, he’s not even saying it begrudgingly. He means it. It’s only fair, after all, Sebastian’s the one who had class all day. Kurt only had one morning class, and has been using the rest of the day to finish up a few mock ups for work, nothing too difficult.

Sebastian looks shocked, “For real? This is coming from the guy who looked like he was going to kill me for even looking at his cake.”

“Yeah well, I’m feeling generous. Take it or leave it, Seb. The cake’s pretty much melted at this point.” Kurt says, rolling his eyes.

“Right yeah, of course. Thank you, oh benevolent dictator.” Sebastian replies, taking a bite of the cupcake, grinning at Kurt.

***

Kurt’s been having _a day._ He has two essay deadlines, an article to write for Vogue.com, and three finals in the next two weeks. He’s overwhelmed, and wants nothing more than to ignore all of his deadlines and watch re-runs of Real Housewives but he also knows better. Because this is what he wanted right? A job he loves and NYADA.

Right now, he’s struggling to remember _why_. He’s digging into the cheesecake that he bought specifically for the sake of relieving stress. He didn’t bother using a separate plate or cutting the cake into slices, because chances are, he’s going to be done with this cake in the next hour. He’ll allow himself the indulgence, because he deserves it.

Sebastian said he’d come over, he’s finished with his finals the lucky bastard, and he’s going to Atlantic City with some of his friends from class to celebrate. He had invited Kurt, but there is no chance of that working out for him, not with all of this work threatening to drown him if he so much as thinks about avoidance. So Sebastian had wanted to hang out for a bit and give him keys to his house to watch over his houseplants.

Kurt still can’t get over the fact that Sebastian’s the kind of guy who has houseplants, and also aggressively takes care of them. “They’re calming!” Sebastian had grumbled, when Kurt had asked why exactly he had so many potted plants, the first time he’d been over to Sebastian’s place. All Kurt did was grin, “Looks like I figured out your thing, Sebastian.”

When he hears the unmistakable sound of Sebastian’s knock on the door, he grumbles out, “Come in, it’s unlocked” all while shoving in more bites of cake into his mouth.

“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, babe.” Sebastian says, grinning.

Kurt doesn’t know when or why exactly Sebastian started calling him babe, but it’s better than _gay face_ , or princess, so he accepts it. “Shut up. This is exactly how you looked all of last week, and I didn’t say a single word.”

“That is a blatant lie, Hummel. You tweeted about it. And also made at least 4 Instagram posts, one of which had the caption, ‘nerd in his natural habitat.’ You got more likes than any of my profile pictures have ever gotten.” Sebastian replies, laughing.  

“Well. Whatever. Give me your keys and go have fun while I’m stuck here, alone and suffering.” Kurt pouts.

“I wouldn’t say you’re suffering. You’ve made pretty good progress on that cake.”

“Oh! I saved you a piece, it’s in the fridge. As a mini celebration, for finishing your finals. I wish I could actually celebrate with you but alas, your houseplants need me, and my grades are calling my name.” Kurt says, still typing furiously on his laptop.

Sebastian’s grinning, “You are a lot nicer about this cake thing than you were before” as he pulls out the cake from the fridge and grabs himself a fork.

“Well, now I know you’re a good person, so I guess that means you deserve some cake.” Kurt replies, grinning back. “And you actually named all your plants. You’re not a big bad wolf, you’re like, a teddy bear. And teddy bears like you definitely deserve the occasional slice of cake.”

“Hey! I resent that, I’m definitely a wolf. Like wolverine status, wolf.” Sebastian says, settling on couch with his cake.

“Yes of course, I must have missed the scene with Hugh Jackman holding a watering can.”

“Glad you agree with me, babe.”

Kurt laughs for a moment before groaning, “Stop distracting me. I have so much to do!”

“Hey come on, take a cake break with me. Twenty minutes, tops. I have to leave soon anyway, and you won’t see my pretty face for days.”

“Please. You’re going to post a picture of yourself at least twice a day, we both know how vain you are.”

“Says the guy who modeled at Vogue.”

“It was only because we were down one model and Isabelle asked!” Kurt mumbles, blushing a little, but putting his laptop down anyway. He grabs his cake and settles next to Sebastian. “We never did finish that episode of The Mindy Project.”

“Yesss, get over here cuddle buddy. I wanna see who Mindy hooks up with now that she’s a free woman.” Sebastian says, putting his arm around Kurt. Kurt just rolls his eyes and leans into Sebastian, comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also i used tmp because i'm obsessed with that show and also because grant said he had been watching it way back during press for the flash in season 1. i was going to say The Flash was the show they're watching because i am a nerd and have a lil dialogue where sebastian's like "barry allen looks exactly like me!!" and kurt's like "nah, i don't really see it. he's hotter" but i didn't so instead i'm writing it here.


	3. 92. i want you to be happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a bit of a time jump. i'll probably go back and put in more stuff from the in between parts (i have ideas but my brain is not letting me write them, so this story is probably going to be a little jumpy. apologies in advance)

Their latest choice of adventure as friends and roommates (which in some ways, will never stop being weird) is to drive from New York back to Ohio for their summer, because they thought that it would be a fun road trip and they’d save some money while they were at it. New York is more expensive than they ever expected, and they don’t particularly feel like burdening their families by making those awkward _hey how’s it going, can you put some more money in my account_ phone calls.

So when Kurt made the brilliant suggestion of driving back, instead of flying, and Sebastian jumped on board immediately.

Only, now, Sebastian’s beginning to regret his decision to say yes, because it doesn’t seem like the road trip is going to be a fun experience at all. Because exactly an hour and a half before they were scheduled to leave, they get into the worst fight they’ve ever been in, even worse than the time Sebastian spilled wine on Kurt’s favorite shirt (on _purpose)._

Sebastian knows that he might have been slightly unreasonable when Kurt suggested bringing along Blaine, but he really does not understand the strange hold the little gel helmet seems to have on Kurt.

 “Well he’s going home too and I thought maybe he could join us on our little road trip.” Kurt says, nonchalant, as they’re putting their last few suitcases together. Most of them are Kurt’s, but Sebastian doesn’t say anything about it, just rolls his eyes and bites his tongue when he thinks about reminding Kurt that they’re only going to be in Ohio for a month.

“So you want to bring your _douchebag_ of an ex? The one _you_ broke up with? I was there. It was a great break up, let's fucking keep it that way!” Sebastian laughs shortly, and something angry (Sebastian doesn’t let himself think the word _jealous,_ not quite, because he doesn’t think he’s allowed to feel that way about Kurt) fills the pit of his stomach. Normally he’d love the drama, because there’s no way it could go _well._ But the only thing flashing his mind right now is _Blaine’s coming with us and I’m going to be stuck in the back seat while they make puppy dog eyes at each other and  I think I might throw up._ He watches the way Kurt narrows his eyes and waits for him to make some faulty reasoning about wanting to still be friends with the asshole.

And just as expected, Kurt starts with the classic, “Yeah, I’ll admit we’ve had our ups and downs but we’re friends now. Sue me for wanting to leave things on a good note!”

“Okay, look, I know that Ohio has like, a grand total of 5 guys to hook up with, but you can do better than _Blaine._ You’ve _done_ better than him!"He exclaims, not bothering to hide the disgust in his voice.

Sebastian rolls his eyes, and cuts Kurt off before he’s able to say anything, “Besides, why are you telling me _now?_ We’ve been planning this for weeks.”

“I only ever realized he was coming to Ohio last night!” Kurt shouts, before his eyes widen at the implication he’s made.

Sebastian’s silent for a moment, and he tries so very hard to hide the hurt in his voice when he asks “Last night when you didn’t come home, _last night?”_

“Bas, I know what you're thinking and it's not like that…”

“You fucking hooked up with him, didn’t you?” Sebastian mumbles, angry.

“No! Obviously not, Sebastian! What the hell?” Kurt exclaims, staring at Sebastian warily.

“Jesus Christ, Kurt, _again?”_

“Are you even listening to what I'm saying? I didn’t hook up with him! We didn’t _do anything.”_

Sebastian interrupts, “Kurt. He _cheated on you.”_

“We were in high school when that happened! We’ve both grown up a lot, and he was the first person I ever fell in love with, Bas, you have to get that. I’m always going to have a soft spot for him.” Kurt murmurs, the words tumbling out of his mouth quickly.

Sebastian stares at Kurt, opens his mouth to say something but doesn’t bother finishing the thought. He walks into his bedroom and slams the door, leaving Kurt load up the car. He did tell Kurt that he’d be happy to do that himself, because he’ll always take an opportunity to show off his muscles, but he’s not feeling particularly generous at the moment. He doesn’t really want to filter through _why_ exactly the thought of Blaine and Kurt together makes him so _angry,_ so he focuses instead on checking to make sure that everything’s put away, and that his shoes are tied and….every other small thing that he can stand to think about.

He hears a light knock on his door, and a small, “Bas?”

Sebastian used to hate when Kurt called him Bas because it meant that they were becoming closer and the part of him, the really juvenile part of him that likes to hold grudges, felt like it meant he was becoming a good person.

Now it just makes him feel at ease. Right now, when he wants nothing more than to be _furious_ at Kurt, so he’s not quite sure he likes it anyway.

“I told him not to come.” Kurt whispers, clearly still wary that Sebastian would be upset.

Sebastian opens the door at that, raising a single eyebrow to signal exactly how unbelievable he finds that.

Kurt’s sheepish when he responds, “I was maybe projecting a lot, last night. Everyone from my theater group had some…significant other, except for me and Blaine. And I guess drunk me thought that was some sign that we were supposed to be together. So I just told him to come along without really thinking about it. I slept on Elliott’s couch last night, you know that.”

Sebastian doesn’t say anything back though, because there’s still a missing piece.

“And I don’t want Blaine there, you’re right.  He’s a piece of shit. Always getting in my head, trying to make me feel like less. It sucks. Just because I loved him once doesn’t mean I have to love him forever.” Kurt fumes.

Sebastian still doesn’t say anything, and Kurt can’t help himself when he keeps going, “Look, I want you to be happy. On this trip. I want you to have fun and for us to spend time with each other, for it to be this cool experience that we can talk about in 20 years, all like, ‘oh hey remember that time we went on a road trip to Ohio together! Good times!’ I don’t think we’d have that with Blaine there. It’d be awkward and awful and we’d be trapped in this metal cage of death for hours and I…”

Sebastian cuts him off with a kiss, gentle and sweet. It’s not their first kiss, _definitely_ not, but it’s their first kiss _sober,_ in the daylight, right before they leave to go on said road trip in a metal cage of death. Let it be known that Sebastian has _fantastic_ timing.

Kurt pulls away and stares at Sebastian, bewildered. Sebastian just smiles, “I want you to be happy too.” The _with me_ goes unsaid.


	4. 1. pull over, let me drive for a while

It’s kind of unspoken rule that Kurt’s the only one allowed to drive his car. It’s not like Kurt gets the chance to drive it all that often when he’s in New York, but it still comes in handy sometimes. He especially likes that on slow days he can make a little extra cash as an Uber driver. But that’s beside the point. It’s Kurt’s car. So he’s the one that’s going to drive him and Sebastian, the guy who just _kissed_ him back to Ohio.

Kurt tries his best to mask the emotions running through his head, he’s studying to be an actor after all. But he’s sure that some of his nerves come through anyway, because Sebastian has concern etched all over his face. Kurt can’t stand to look at that face for more than a minute, so once they’re all done putting their luggage in the trunk, Kurt’s staring resolutely at the ground when he says, “Ready to go?”

Sebastian nods, stepping into the passenger seat as Kurt drops into the driver’s seat.

They’re driving in silence, which would be awkward if it was anyone else. Sebastian’s on his phone, looking for music to play, and Kurt’s focused on getting them out of New York in one piece. Only, Kurt’s still distracted from the phantom feeling of Sebastian’s lips on his and he misses a stop light. Sebastian glances over at him, smirking, and Kurt does not want to hear his inappropriate comments so he narrows his eyes. Sebastian closes his mouth, but he’s still smirking and Kurt doesn’t want to deal with it.

“What?? It was one stupid stoplight and literally nobody even cares.” Kurt grumbles.

Sebastian laughs, “Only that little old lady who had to stop crossing the street because of your reckless driving.”

“Well I wouldn’t be reckless if it wasn’t for…” Kurt cuts himself off because he doesn’t want to talk about _that_. It was a casual kiss. Between friends. Friends kiss all the time, it’s normal. No big deal, he knows that.

Sebastian seems to understand though, and Kurt doesn’t know what to make of that. Because since when does Sebastian know what he’s thinking? Since when did they get to know each other so well? When exactly did that happen, and why did nobody warn Kurt about it?

Sebastian’s quiet for a moment before he says, “Hey, pull over.”

“What? Sebastian we’ve barely even made any distance. Don’t tell me you have to use the bathroom already!”

“No, let me drive for a bit. You should nap, or something. I feel like you’re still hungover.” Sebastian murmurs.

“I’m fine. Are you saying that I’m not a good driver?” Kurt replies, abrupt and defensive.

“Yeah, of course babe. You’re a terrible driver. That’s why I agreed to get into this car with you for a nine hour drive.” Sebastian says, rolling his eyes. “Stop being so damn proud and just let me drive.”

Kurt pauses for a second, looks over to Sebastian, who looks earnest and concerned and it makes Kurt feel…something that he doesn’t want to dissect. So he nods, “We’ll have to fill up gas soon. Switch then?”

It’s a compromise that Sebastian seems willing to accept because he’s nodding and launching into a tale about something that happened in one of his classes, and Kurt accepts the distraction from his thoughts moving into territory he’s not ready to get into.


	5. 100. i love you // 64. it's two sugars in yours right? // 79. i'll still be here when you're ready

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this skips to when they've reached ohio.

They’ve said they love each other before, but it’s always been in the context of _friendship._

So this time, when Sebastian looks over at Kurt, eyes bright as he’s sitting in the passenger seat, and mumbles “I love you” the last thing he’s thinking about being is platonic.

Kurt visibly tenses and Sebastian doesn’t know how to feel about that, so he ignores it and says brightly, “Hey look, the Lima Bean’s at the next exit! We should go, for old time’s sake” with a smile, hoping it hides the way his heart feels unsteady.

Kurt nods, following the road signs. Sebastian can tell he’s schooling his features to be neutral. All he can do is hope it’s a good thing.  

x-x-x

When they get to the Lima Bean all that’s running through Kurt’s head is how _awful_ Sebastian was in high school. A childish part of his brain wants to use it as a reason to convince himself not to date Sebastian, not to say he loves him back. Because apparently that’s a thing, apparently _Sebastian loves Kurt._

Only, now that they’re here, all Kurt can think about is how even back in high school he’d sometimes come to the Lima Bean just to look for Sebastian. Back then he would have argued it was just to make sure he stayed in his place. Now, he’s not so sure.

When Sebastian turns to him, lean and beautiful and perfect, and asks “It’s two sugars in yours, right?” Kurt thinks he might implode with how fast his heart is beating. Just explode with how much Sebastian knows about him, how much he remembers, how much their lives have intertwined.

But all he can do is nod, and try not to show the smile that’s threatening to burst onto his face, because he can’t give Sebastian the benefit, not yet, because he’d never live it down.

They decide to sit at one of the booths, they’re new and more private. Kurt sits across from Sebastian, his mind travelling at speeds he’s sure isn’t healthy. He knows that if he looks at Sebastian, looks at his eyes, he’ll blurt out something stupid. So he avoids looking at him completely.

Sebastian of course, doesn’t let him get away with it, and says abruptly, “Stop being weird, Kurt.”

“I’m not being weird! I’m the one being completely normal in this situation!”

Kurt does look at Sebastian then, and he regrets it when he sees the hint of sadness in Sebastian’s eyes. “Didn’t realize what I said was that weird, babe.”

“Isn’t there a rule somewhere that dating roommates is a bad idea? That friends are better off as friends.” Kurt says, pleading.

Sebastian looks like he’s trying to hide a smile when he says, “You weren’t thinking about that when we were making out after Elliott’s party.”

“That’s different! You’re the one that’s always saying sex isn’t the same thing as love.” Kurt replies, more accusatory than he means to be. 

Sebastian rolls his eyes, “Besides, historically speaking there have been _plenty_ of relationships that were great that started out as friends.”

“Like who?”

“Monica and Chandler, of course.” He says with a smile. He schools his features to be more serious, and continues. “Look, I’ll still be here when you’re ready. _If_ you’re ever ready. I don’t want to pressure you into this, that would never end well, but I think this could be something incredible, _we_ could be incredible together. If you want to try.”

Kurt’s resolve melts at that, he thinks that he’s not supposed to want to say yes, he thinks that he’s supposed to say “give me time” but what comes out is, “Let’s be something incredible, then.”

The answering smile that Sebastian gives him makes this already worth it, Kurt thinks, no matter what the outcome is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys like this part. thanks!! :)


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